Happy Saturday morning sexy people!
For this post, I wanted to talk about the different atmospheres in the different clubs. Not every club is the one for you, so try them all before making up your mind. They each have their own flair and vibe. I almost skipped writing about this trip because it wasn't a fun time. In the end, there is definitely a lesson to learn so it's worth talking about my issues.
This was one of my trips home to visit the fam. We decided to try a different club instead of going back to the same one we went to last time. The club we visited last time has three clubs in different areas. Each has their own very different vibe. This particular club had an older crowd vibe, which we thought would be our people. We're not spring chickens anymore. What I wasn't expecting was what came along with the older crowd. But we'll get to that in a minute.
The first notion that the night wouldn't go the way we wanted was the corset I chose didn't look good on me. I have let myself go over the last few years. I used to be in incredible shape, but it's extremely difficult for me to maintain that. I can't drink any alcohol or have any wheat products. That leads to a very restrictive lifestyle that I got tired of maintaining. When I stopped, I went too far the other way. So, now I'm stuck with fifty extra pounds that I now have to get off. So far, I've gotten twenty gone. This time I'm not going for a bodybuilder body, so I don't have to be so restrictive. I'm bound and determined to find a healthy balance to where I have a normal body and normal lifestyle.
Back to that night-I had to do a last-minute wardrobe change, which threw me off a bit. I felt frumpy and not like the vixen I wanted to be. I love to feel super sexy in these clubs. That's one of the most fun parts of dressing up in clothes that you wouldn't wear every day. I'm not a Barbie doll by any means, so to feel sexy means a lot to me. The first two club experiences, I felt incredibly sexy and got lots of attention. I was looking forward to that this time, but that didn't happen.
We walked in and immediately felt off. It was a nice club, not saying there was anything wrong with the club itself. But as soon as we walked in, we noticed everyone was in little pockets of groups and not dispersed everywhere. At South, everyone was mingling with everyone. Here, there were cliques which I thought we were done with in high school. It was terrible. Not one single person talked to us, and we even got a few stares like we were the new people and what were we doing in their club. Ugh!
It literally brought back ALL of my insecurities from high school. It's a terrible feeling as an adult to feel like you don't belong. That's something that should no longer exist in this world, yet here it was. We drank too much too quickly trying to shake that feeling and just relax. That was completely the wrong thing to do! I literally couldn't get out of my own head once I got buzzed.
The walk around the club proved to be more of the same. Looks from people like we didn't belong. Nothing to write home about by way of areas. There was a couch area, a dance floor that no one was on and an open table area. I don't remember if there was a cross or dungeon room because by this point, I'm getting annoyed at everyone being so stand-offish.
We did get approached by one couple that remembered us from South, which was cool. We talked to them for a few minutes but then she invited me to play and not JD. We don't play separately, so I declined. By then, we were over the whole scene and just left.
The purpose of this blog is to show that not all places are the right place for you. If that had been our first experience, we may have called it and said the lifestyle isn't for us. But it was our third experience, so we knew that it wasn't what the lifestyle was everywhere. Where the lifestyle is a spectrum, so are lifestyle clubs. Keep trying until you find the right one for you.
Each lifestyle experience is going to be different. Not every one of them will be the most amazing experiences of your life. But the really good ones will make up for the few bad ones. It's worth it to keep going and not let the few bad spoil the bunch of good.
It also made me take a step back and resolve the obviously unresolved high school issues that I had. I was a nerd, good grades, band-the whole works. But I was also pretty when I look back at pictures. I didn't think so at the time because I wasn't popular. But I was also an introvert, so it's hard to squeeze into the popular crowd when it takes a bit to come out of your shell.
I learned to own that part of me that made me feel like an outsider. No one made me feel like that. No one walked up to me and said anything to make me believe I was an outsider. It was my over-active imagination at work, putting words in people's mouths that weren't technically talking.
I also resolved to not let the instinct to run kick in anymore. What we should have done was walk up to one of those groups and start talking. Instead, I was a coward and sat back in the corner awkwardly.
JD has no issues walking up and talking to people, but he is also very aware and protective of that part of me. He never wants to make me feel uncomfortable, so he curtails the outgoing part of him for me. Instead, I need to let him be himself more and pull me along so I can come out of my shell. Once I'm out of my shell, I'm okay and talk up a storm. It's just getting me there that can be the challenge once I start getting in my own head.
Moral of this story is to keep going until you find the scene for you. Maybe clubs aren't your scene and you're more of a lifestyle site and individual meet up couple. Maybe some clubs are fun, and others aren't. The other thing to remember is some parts of the lifestyle may bring out old unresolved issues. Maybe you're self-conscious about something and the other person just pointed that out. Well, find someone else that doesn't do that to you. There are so many people in this lifestyle that if one couple doesn't meet your needs or makes you feel something, move on to the next one that may be the best thing ever. Just don't give up!
We're going to keep going. We will try the North club because we haven't been there yet. Not sure when we'll fit that in, but we'll get there sometime. We also got on a lifestyle site once we were back living together. So stay tuned to the story of our first date!
I'm a self-proclaimed shopping expert who loves outdoors and craft beer. In my spare time, in between working full-time and tending to family, I love to write stories.